Christmas has always been a difficult time of the year for me. Like so many others, the holidays contain so many ideas about how things should be and so very often, real life doesn’t match those ideas. All this is recipe for disaster. One of my stories is that I am forgotten at Christmas. I give, give, give and get very little in return. Ask my husband, he’ll tell you how much he hates the holidays because this aspect of aggie will show up and rain on everything.
So the last couple of years I’ve been able to watch this process. This year I am proclaiming abundance and that the Divine is my source, not my daughter or the people at work, areas where aggie feels lack. But the most interesting thing I noticed the past few days is how there is another side to this as well… when someone does give me something, I almost immediately dismiss it or criticize the gift (inwardly of course). This has happened several times in a short amount of time that it was impossible to miss. This made me wonder how many gifts I am receiving from the Divine that I push to the side saying “Thanks but really, that’s what you give me?” There’s a feeling attached to all this…not exactly sure what it is but it isn’t gratefulness…
There’s also the feeling that giving is safer than receiving. I’m going to have to think about this a bit but isn’t it just like the ego to set up a scenario that just will never work…like shoveling dirt over your shoulder which just falls back into the hole you’re already in. You have to open up to really receive… but the egos says give, never allow yourself to receive, then feel bad that you aren’t receiving…lol!
And then of course, the truth that there isn’t anything OUT THERE that can fill the hunger in here. Only God can do that, only Love can do that.
So the plan is GRATITUDE! The plan is OPEN YOUR EYES and see every thing that IS given to you as gifts and be GRATEFUL. The plan is stay connected to the Divine IAM within, the One and Only Source.